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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Don't Be Creepy

I realize that a lot of what I talk about may not be rocket science. It's pretty fundamental stuff that a lot of people just happen to not do, and I present it in a way that's unique, memorable, and high-energy.

But now, I am going to share with you something that may be the most basic, common-sense bit of advice I have ever said:


Why, why oh why does that need to be said? Shouldn't that be an obvious truism that all people believe and accept?

But it's not. I'm sure you encounter creepy people periodically as you live your life. Maybe you work with them, maybe you encounter them at a networking event, or end up having to sit next to them at a dinner. What's up with that??

Do I need to define what "creepy" is? I hope not. To be redundant, creepy people are people who creep you out.

Here's what I am starting to believe though: creepy people don't know that they are creepy. Aside from a tiny percentage of true deviants, I don't think creepy people wake up in the morning, look at themselves in the mirror, and say, "Hmm, what can I do to be creepy today?" They probably never even think about it.

And therein lies the rub (and the lesson all of us non-creepy people can take away from this). It's important to pay attention to the affect we are having on others. Being yourself is important, and I'm not saying you be fake. But take a couple of minutes and think about it: "Do people think I'm creepy?" I hope not. But take it one step further: "What do people think about me when they meet me?" And then, "Is that what I want people to think when they meet me?"

I speak from experience. Not about being creepy mind you, but about making impressions that you want to make. I am a comedian, humorist, and outgoing professional speaker. But I have always felt myself to also be a shy introvert. For a long time when i would meet new people I would stay pretty quiet, get the lay of the land, and then, when comfortable, I would open up. Of course, getting comfortable could take multiple meetings, so who knows how many opportunites (and potential clients) I may have missed by not actively thinking about the impression I was conveying.

(Come to think of it, being quiet and shy and just observing can come across as creepy to come people. Uh-oh. I hope no one applied the creepy moniker to me!)

Point is, it took me a while, but I realized that my first impression (and second and third quite frequently) were not congruent with who I truly was. Now, I make a very concentrated to be me - the best version of me that I want people to see - when I meet people. It's not easy, but it is rewarding.

So whether you are creepy, shy, obnoxiuos, withdran, rude, etc., take some time to think about the impression you convey. If it's not what you want, and it's not serving you, start changing it today.

And whatever you do, don't be creepy.


Anonymous said...

awesum avish...
good going ...keep it up....
i suggsted ur name 2 so many people....hope dey all like it tooo....
happy writng....

Avish said...

Thanks - I appreciate it - glad you're enjoying it!